Opportunity Keeps Knocking… Me Out
The old maxim could very well be true that when Opportunity knocks, you need to be ready. In my case, though, Opportunity seems to be playing a rousing game of Ding-Dong-Ditch-It with me instead.
Last month, for the second time this year, i lost out on an internal promotion at my company, DoubleClick, that many of my colleagues thought i was sure bet to get.
This time, i was applying for a role as Commercialization/Readiness Manager, which can best be described as a project manager for the process of releasing new products to the market (Commercialization) and managing their code releases (Readiness).
It sounded like a very interesting role: a high-visibility position with lots of exposure to many different areas within the company, and some good experience with project management. And i already have a great working relationship with the other person on the Commercialization team.
As with the Development Team Manager opening i applied for in January, i became one of two finalists for this Commercialization Manager position. And, again, i was passed over by the hiring manager, this time in favor of the other finalist — someone who had worked directly for him for several years (and who had then left the company several years ago — involuntarily, when we spun off one of our divisions).
This rejection was, naturally, another bitter disappointment for me — made all the worse because i was given nothing but praise all through the interview process. In fact, the hiring manager told me in The Rejection Call that i really had no weaknesses he could point to as a differentiating factor in his decision. In other words, he said there were no skills that i needed to strengthen. As he put it to me, he simply had two outstanding candidates for this one opening, who had nearly identical interview scores, and he chose to go with this other person. (Of course, he neglected to mention that this other person had worked for him for several years; i found this out from someone else.) Basically, it seems that, faced with having six of one and half-a-dozen of the other — a good dilemma, from his perspective — he chose to go with the known commodity (i.e., not me).
And i have to admit that i do not begrudge him this choice; i think most people would probably make the same decision he did, myself included. My frustration stems from the fact that what i got from this whole process (8 interviews) were some nice verbal pats on the back and encouraging feedback re: my skill set and job performance, but once again was left with nothing to show for it.
Furthermore, what exactly am i supposed to take away from this process? What i hear is: “Gosh, John, we really like your work, and you’re well qualified for this position. But, we’re going with someone else… –Oh, but it’s not you.” Pardon my acronym, but W… T… F…?!
Imagine, if you will, my experience this year: you have applied for two different internal positions, and during this process — entailing a dozen interviews in all (4 for the first opening, and 8 for this latest one) — you have been showered with glowing praise, received copious positive feedback, and much encouragement. And after all this… you still end up in the same job. I mean, i don’t want to sound ungrateful for the opportunity, but if i’m to believe what the people who interviewed me have said about me, shouldn’t DoubleClick be more actively working to move me into a leadership position?
At least this time around, everything in connection with this interview process and rejection was handled relatively well — as opposed to the Dev Team Manager hiring process and rejection, which was one of the most unprofessional experiences in my entire life. I nearly left the company right then because that experience left such a bad taste in my mouth, but was held back by the fact that i really do like my company, overall, and the people i work with. And besides that, well, i didn’t have another job to fall back on (yet).
After this latest experience, though, all i can do is shake my head and wonder, What on earth do i have to do to get ahead at this company? I am very close to running out of patience with them.
Which leaves me with this quandary: Where the hell am i supposed to go from here? –Do i stick around DoubleClick, given our impending merger deal with Google (the #1-ranked company to work for in the USA), and hope that some new opportunities will open up there? Or do i just say, “Screw it!”, pull up stakes emotionally and try my luck elsewhere?…
What complicates this situation even further is that, serendipitously enough, my boss got promoted right as i was finishing this interview process last month. So his old job, as manager of my team, is now open. –And, being a glutton for punishment, i’ve decided to apply for this opening, too. I figure, hey, what do i have to lose? It’s another good opportunity; i’d be working with my current team, and i’d still be able to work for my old boss (whom i really like). So who knows? — maybe this third time will be the charm.
So, i am now in the middle of yet another, even more grueling interview process: 8 interviews completed so far, another half-dozen or so more to go (i think).
Unlike these last two interview processes, though, i have set my expectations very low: i fully expect not to get this job — primarily because i am not based in NY, where our HQ is, and we are a very HQ-centric company, and also because there’s some very good competition for this role. But that doesn’t mean that i’m not going to give 110% to try and get this job; i’m just mentally preparing myself for the disappointment ahead of time.
Sad, i know, but at this point, given my experiences this year, this is almost a necessary defense mechanism; i don’t think i could handle another rejection if i set my hopes too high.
Anyway, i’ll update the blog as soon as i know whether i’m being offered this job or not. Stay tuned…
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Thank God that there is still room in the increasingly crowded — and right-wing-leaning — news & talk show world for people like Bill Moyers.
This is Gabriel getting his first base hit — which, despite the photo here showing the ball in flight with some decent air under it, was a mere blooper between third base and the mound that he beat out for a hit. Hey, you take what you can get at age 5 and in your first game.
And, as
And finally, here is a photo of Gabriel playing left field. Given his intent expression, he is obviously taking instructions from one of the bench coaches… I hope… There are several metaphors that would fit here, of course: Gabriel is already outstanding in his field (buh!); Gabriel is out in left field (BUH!)…


